“A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.”
— Elbert Hubbard
In life, I think it is extraordinarily rare to find a true friend.
We all have loads of friends, don’t we? We have shopping friends, drinking friends, work friends, faraway friends, old friends, new friends, friends of friends. We have those friends you bump in to, promise to call and then never do. We have frenemies. We have all sorts.
But a true friend is different.
A true friend is the one you go to when you need answers but don’t yet know the question; who knows you so well that they can explain your own emotions to you. A true friend is the one you go to sit with when you have had the most horrific news – but who won’t ask you to talk about it until you are ready to. The one who keeps a spare toothbrush in the stand in case you need to crash – who knows your favourite bottle of wine and has it open and waiting when you’ve had a hard day, who wipes your tears when you’re not even sure why you’re crying.
They are the one who always know the right thing to say…even if you don’t want to hear it.
I’m incredibly lucky when it comes to friends. I have a handful of the best of them – who have been with me through the horrific and the heavenly times, who know me at my best, have seen me at my worst and love me whatever.
They are all incredibly different – but they all have one thing in common. They’re honest. Not one of the people I consider to be my best friends would ever let me leave the house wearing an outfit that looked awful, stay in a relationship they thought was unhealthy, let me get away with kidding myself or fall into a pit of destructive behaviour. I know this because they have stopped me doing all of these before. More than once – and using force when necessary (I’m kidding…but they would, I’m sure!)
With all that has happened over the last few years…I would not have blamed them for walking away. I have been through a hit & run, spirals of depression, numerous operations, awful break ups, financial catastrophes and a mini break down, yet still they stay.
And thank God they do – as I’d be lost without them.
Don’t get me wrong for a second now – it’s not all bad. They’re also the ones I gossip with, party with, laugh with, dress up with, take roadtrips with, go on holiday with, drink tea & eat cupcakes with and just get drunk on the sofa with. These are the people who make me enjoy being alive.
True friends can make you laugh when you’re feeling low. They can make you see inside yourself and realise something you’ve been blocking out for so long. They can be brutal, but even though their words can cut you, you know they’re only doing it because they care.
My friends make me happy without trying. They’re the people I look forward to talking to everyday, who brighten up even the gloomiest of times with a silly anecdote, a gentle hug or a throwaway word of kindness. They’re the ones who fill me in on what happened on drunken nights that I can’t remember, who are there at 4am when I need to talk, who will drive me to the hospital in the middle of the night because the pain killers aren’t working and who’ll tell me I’m wrong when I am adamant that I’m right. They’re also the ones who know without question that I would do the same for them.
I don’t have great health, much money, a job or any of the other things people use to measure their success. Instead, I have the most wonderful friends a girl could ask for…and in my eyes, that means more to me than any of the other stuff.
If I can be a good friend, and keep good friends, that makes me the most successful of all.
I hope that all of you are as lucky as me when it comes to friendship…and that every now and then you take a minute or two out of your day to do something just to make the important people smile. It’ll be worth it.