Learning to be Happy.

I’ve learned a lot over the last two years.

I’ve learned about the world. I’ve learned about friendships. I’ve learned about myself, and I’ve learned the hard way. But most importantly of all, I’ve learned how to be a Mum. And, if my beautiful, happy, intelligent and loving child is the proof, a pretty good one so far.

I have learned who is true, who is fake, who will answer the phone at 1am in the morning when I need them and who is best avoided due to their toxic ways. I’ve learned what I am capable of. I’ve learned the depths people will sink to when they’re bitter and angry and I’ve learned how to ignore it and get on with living a meaningful life. I’ve learned from mentors and from peers. I’ve learned how to be a better friend. I’ve learned new facts and figures in courses I’ve taken. I’ve learned how to create a world my child will be proud of.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt though, in all this time, is that no-one else is, or will ever be, reponsible for my own happiness. You cannot possibly be happy if you are relying on someone else to make you smile. You can’t be happy if you’re trying to be something you’re not to make someone else like you. You cannot be happy if you’re absorbing other people’s negativity. You can’t be happy if you spend your time focusing on what you don’t have, rather than what you do. You can’t be happy when you’re angry. You can’t be happy when comparing yourself to others, or plastering over cracks from your past. You need to process what’s hurt you, forgive, begin to appreciate and move forward with a kind heart and strong mind.

Life isn’t perfect. There is still pain, and bad days, and hard times.

But I spend my days now counting my blessings, focusing on good luck rather than bad. I concentrate on being the best person, and role model for my baby. I practice mindfulness. I give attention to the people who are good to me, and avoid the ones who aren’t. I play. I laugh. I write and I read.

I wake up in the morning and choose to have a good day, surrounded by good people, doing things I love.

And I’m happy. Truly happy.

It’s taken time, but it feels wonderful.

A lesson I’m so glad I finally learned.

Happiness is letting go


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  • Reply
    Lins @Boo & Maddie
    August 25, 2015 at 2:35 pm

    Ah this is such a lovely place to be. Some time maybe a year ago, my colleague and I were discussing this very idea. We agreed that if you ask most people what they want from life, they’ll say a family, a happy marriage, a good job, a nice home, any of these and more. But very few people will say they want to be happy. They mistakenly think that the above things bring happiness, and whilst they can, it’s no guarantee. We agreed that all anyone should want from life is simply to be happy. I choose the same path as you, it’s a wonderful one X

    • Reply
      JJ Miller
      August 25, 2015 at 2:39 pm

      Ahh, thank you, this comment really made me smile. I think I spent so much of life TRYING to be happy, and looking for happiness in the wrong places, that it feels like such a relief to realise that it comes from within. I don’t need anything other than my kid to make me smile now. Lovely place to be, isn’t it? x

  • Reply
    August 25, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    I read this earlier and it’s stuck in my mind. Beautiful. I wish for happiness for you always, and peace x

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