Dearest readers, this week the cream of American Music people gathered to the Los Angeles Nokia Theatre to celebrate the year of American Music and I was ready with my little notebook to write down a few comments about the red carpet outfits. I’d rather not comment on stage outfits as they are usually so OTT and somewhat fabulous…but red carpet? Let me at ’em.
I was expecting to see Lady Gaga dressed in sardines. Sadly there was neither Gaga nor sardines. Disappointing, truly. I wanted someone to do something truly innovational. And only thing I got was VHS tape. Such a shame.
So, the deal with P!nk is that you never know what she is going to wear. Sometimes she goes a “little” off the mark and other times she makes me shiver in a good way. Very happy that she announced her baby news on Ellen last week. Distracted much? Anyway, on the red carpet there aren’t any cuter couples than her and Carey, but this isn’t about being cute with your husband. It’s about fashion dahhling…and P!nk NAILED it this time. Her silver (albeit slightly purple) hair looked divine (and I don’t say this just because my quiff is almost identical to hers) Gorgeous black dress; may have been simple, but it worked. Maybe her pregnancy has already calmed her down (although I doubt it). Natural make up, dangly earrings, slight tan. Its ALL working for P!nk. Very impressed. A-
Who is she? Really? Is she pulling out all the crazy stops because she knew Lady Gaga would be absent? All eyes on the girl with golden ribs! Now, I have no idea who she is. Apparently some rapper. Must investigate. I am trying to find something positive to say and only thing I can come up with is that I like the shade of green on her shoulders. OMG! Just realized that its her hair..that green. WTF? The rest of the costume is very busy and quite frankly revolting. We have Gaga, we don’t need another woman who tries to hard. Next time, please tone it down and lose the blonde /green wig. Thanks very much! I guess she is just starting as an artist, so trying to make an impression. I am still saying no. F
I adore Heidi. For real. She is just amazing. She is the only supermodel in my book…Loves her. So I was naturally expecting greatness. Something FIERCE and fabulous. Instead I got curtains and a kabbalah ribbon around her waist. The dress might have worked little better if we could not see through the bottom part. Seriously, almost 40 and a mother of 4. Insane. Anyway, I’m liking the top half – the make up is working, high hair looks great. All good. But I am thinking that she could have done better overall. She has the most incredible legs, and they are semi hidden. WHY? Heidi, I expected more from you. B-
I want to say nice things, so for once I am going to. I’m very glad her hair is all one color for a change. I mean, its fun to have some purple in your hair, but it gets a little old. Katy is sporting a very grown up look right now, and I loves it. Her hair is long and glossy, great make up. Slight tan from India, which reminds me, is she now Katy Brand? Or Perry-Brand. Must call people and find out. The dress is stunning, perfect shade of nude, sparkles and all. Not sure about the heels tho…great shoes don’t get me wrong, but I may have picked something different. Too many sequins. However, must admit I do like the look. B+
Right, apparently she is thinking about getting pregnant. Clearly hormones are already kicking in, as this can be the only explanation to this outfit. Her hair is red, right? I am not seeing things? Admittedly this curly wurly look is better than the poker straight she look she sported last week. Pretty girl this one. Her body is clearly insane, which is why she is more than happy to flash at any given moment. Was there a pact between her and Heidi, that they would both wear something sheer? Rihanna came out even worse than Heidi. The color is quite nice against her caramel skin, but that’s the only good thing I can come up with. Wrong Wrong Wrong. C
What did I just say about two tone purple hair? Has she purposely dipped her head into Ribena? Hates it. A little tan wouldn’t go a miss either. The dress is ok, NOT brilliant. I know she is supposed to be like a “rock chic” or something like that, but those bracelets are just plain tacky. I wouldn’t even let my dog wear them as a collar (although Grace could totally pull them off – perfect pooch). Also, half of her shoes are missing. Has she noticed? Its all pretty ugly to be perfectly honest. I am keeping my fingers crossed, she is only young. She may grow into a fashion leader…although I doubt it. C-
VHS tape as a dress? 10 points for creativity I guess. Someone had to do something “whacky” as Gaga was absent. But just like Nicki, she shouldn’t have bothered. Clearly her makeup artist is color blind. If she was trying to scare small children, she is doing a GREAT job. Even I am a little scared. You would run a mile if she came at you on a dark alley, right? I am praying for her fashion sense to return asap. I think there is a pretty girl under all that kack. *googles*. F
Very proud of her recent weight loss, it has to be said. She went from that pink haired-angry-lesbian looking teenager into a beautiful young lady. Unfortunately, the beautiful young lady seems to have stayed home. Her hair has been put through a blender resulting in a look most often seen on 90’s news presenters. Next she is going to talk about the US Election. Lucky thing for us (really?) is that her tattoos will always put her on the map as the wild child. Dot get me wrong, tattoos are great, amazing and sexy, but should be shown in good taste. When you wear £2000 couture, they start looking cheap. Which is why my fabulous tattoos can be covered with a tank top when required. Listen and learn Kelly O. The dress is lovely tho. B
EASE UP on the tan lady! It’s a shame when your face is four shades lighter than your arms. Don’t even get me started on the hands! Crikey. The color of the dress is great, we just need to remove the ruffles on the shoulders and the hem…they’re making it all too busy. I also wish that she would smile a little. Seems that she permanently has this sulky look on her face. It may work for VB, but Fergie should flash us some teeth every so often. Please, I am asking nicely. I think I like her shoes, but can’t really tell. C+
Now, I know she is only about 12 and trying to make her mark in the world. So I have taken this into consideration. But still, I am saying no. She is wearing princess shoes, which I do think are stunning. To die for. However from there on, it just goes wrong. The dress without the hideous train is quite lovely. Very young and fresh, great for her. However, the train. Seriously. I would love to give her some kudos, but just cant. I will let her off for being 12. This once. D