Ladies, we are in the second week of January now and I am so depressed I want gauge my eyes out with a spoon. Bored. The holidays are a distant memory and it seems the days are getting longer and wetter. Joy.
However, I have worked out that there are few ways you can beat the blues. One is to book a holiday somewhere hot and sunny. Instead, I managed to book to go to Helsinki in February. Seriously. It will be like visiting a freezer for a week. They have more snow than ever before and its minus 27 on regular basis. Great.
Another thing that you can try is to book yourself into a day spa and get pampered, plus throw in a little fake tan.
However, the thing that works the best in my opinion is to go sale shopping. However, I would strongly advise to do this all online. Why would you go and spend a day in town and fight over cheap crap? The only way forward is to make a cup of coffee and start surfing.
Most online retailers do great sales, but www.netaporter.com is my favorite. All the fashion brands under one roof. Can’t go wrong. I would strongly suggest spending money on the basics on sale. Buy something fabulous that you can wear for a while, invest your hard earned cash into something amazing that you wouldn’t normally have the money for. Be it a pair of boots, a great new coat or stunning bag. Throw the trend obsession out the window and concentrate on classics. However, you should also get yourself something silly, that you wouldn’t usually spend money on. Treat yourself. (fast forward to Tucker)
To help you choose the right stuff to buy, here is what I found on the Net A Porter sale. Out now.
Haze leather boots by Jimmy Choo £577.50 (30% off)
You’ve got to love little Choo on sale. Loving the gray…a little more than black boots even, who would have thought. These are just fabulous. Something different than your usual black. Gray is my new favorite color, be it boots, bags, duvet covers, couch, bathroom tiles..Anything and everything. This shade is perfect. Not too dark and not too light. Which will of course mean that they will get absolutely destroyed very quickly. Good thing they are 30% off!
Cropped wool jacket by Yves Saint Laurent £687.50 (50% off)
VINYL alert! Seriously, uber cool. This jacket has a detachable clear vinyl cape. Like the coolest thing I have seen in months. I would like one. Please. Sent in a box with ribbons. Someone make this reality. I don’t really want the jacket. Just the vinyl. I WANT VINYL! VINYL! GIMME! Back to the jacket. Just fabulous. VINYL!
Cashmere cable knit snood by Michael Kors £393 (40% off)
Can you imagine how warm this will be? I would buy two and make it into a blanket, then wrap that around my entire upper body and go out in the snow. Lovely. I would be able to roll around knee deep and stay warm and snuggly. I would like two please. My birthday is fairly soon. SEND THEM OVER! Thanks.
Braided metallic bag by Bottega Veneta £762 (40% off)
Heavenly Bottega on sale. That is enough said. I know the bag is still more than rent, but at 40% off. There is no competition. Big enough, slouchy. Fabulous.
High-rise corduroy skinny jeans by Helmut Lang £72.50 (50% off)
I have a thing about corduroy. Especially when it is high wasted and skinny. I love my skinny. Although, I was totally shocked by Anna-maria on ANTM. Did you all see it? She is deluded. I really hope someone tackles her down and force feeds her lard. Anyhow. These Helmut Lang jeans are lovely. Totally in awe. Just the right skinny. OMG! I am in corduroy heaven.
Rick Owens Lillies wool jersey turtleneck £115.50 (30% off)
I am loving myself sick in my turtleneck, which in fact isn’t a real turtneck…more a scarf wrapped so tight around my neck my ears are turning blue from lack of circulation. To avoid the same fate, please invest in this wool jersey number. It’s gorgeous.
Silk Crepe de Chine cummerbund belt by Tucker £30 (70% off)
As I was saying, you need something silly and you never know when you are going to need a purple silk crepe cummerbund belt. For £30. Done. I would like one in lime green. Imagine this, black pencil skirt, white fitted pussy bow blouse and this belt. Fabulously OTT. BRING it on biatches. Why did I just say that? That time of the protein cycle, obvs.
Punk lizard and python cuff £295 (50% off)
WTF? Lizard AND python for under 300 quid. I would buy four of these. Just in case you break one. Seriously the most awesome cuff I have seen in a long time. Spend your money wisely ladies, spend it on dead animals. Oooh. Where can I find discounted mink? Anyone?
Swarovski crystal round earrings by Lanvin £176 (60% off)
Now, this is the real Lanvin, not the H&M one. (Don’t even get me started on fashion labels diluting themselves on the high street). I Loves a little sparkle. Go on. Treat yourself. Go shine.
“Baby you’re a firework!”
That should get us all started on the smart sale shopping. Remember ladies, spend it wisely. I am thinking about writing a piece on sale shopping on the high street. It will bore me, but for you? I’ll work on it.
Msalonen The MASTER Sale-Shopper