I just found some old books of writing from between 1993 – 2001.
There are poems, thoughts, quotes and questions. Some of it is happy but most is incredibly sad. Reading through them brings back every emotion in vivid technicolour – the joy – the fear – the anger- the love. There is an intensity and seriousness behind the words that makes me want to give the young me a hug, something I was severely lacking back then.
From happy school days to being in foster care, living in lonely bedsits to the day I moved into a penthouse with Mr Big, they were eventful times.
I hardly recognise the girl who wrote those words. It was incredibly moving reading them, a bit like reading someone elses diary. But it makes me realise that for every up there’s a down and for every hopelessly bad day there’s a fantastic one that will follow. Life isn’t easy, it’s full of challenges, questions and trouble…but there is also sunshine, brightness, generosity and kindness.
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems when you’re in the moment. If you’re feeling low, or going through a traumatic time, please just hold you head up, look for the smiles, wait patiently and one day, when you least expect it, you’ll see the rainbow and realise just how great life can be.
“When you realise how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky”