Upon turning 24, after a distinguished and colourful partying career, I decided to pack it in. Several factors informed this choice: a busy professional life meant, as my Gran would say, I was burning the candle at both ends; ever-worsening hangovers; and a genuine curiosity to just try it out. I had never taken a prolonged break from drinking since I started (at an age I don’t care to mention).
I’d also read that 25 is the age at which the brain finishes developing, and I wanted to give sobriety a go so that my final stages of development had the best conditions possible.
Over the first few months, I started to notice patterns in when my alcohol cravings would arise. Namely, when I was feeling socially anxious (usually around new people) or when I was pissed off. Aside from those moments, I barely noticed the absence of alcohol from my life. I also started to do much cooler things with my time: I attended my first opera, went to political talks, lazed around in saunas and actually explored London, rather than just its drinking establishments.
When my friend asked if I wanted to go to the club with her and some other friends from university, it almost felt as if accepting the invitation was wrong. After a good talking to myself, I was adamant I was going. After all, I made this decision out of empowerment, not fear, and so it seemed counterintuitive to restrict myself because of a positive life decision.
Here I’ll break down the night and specific things I did that I think made my first sober clubbing experience a successful and enjoyable one.
#1 – Go to a Good Place
It sounds too obvious to mention, but it truly can’t be underestimated. Go to a place that doesn’t require alcohol to be enjoyable. What scene do you like? What music do you enjoy? I.e. don’t end up in a freshers party where they play Disney songs in a sticky floored basement (unless, of course, thats what you’re into – in which case, have at it).
For me, this was a cosmopolitan reggaeton party in a spacious and chic club with an over- 21 age requirement. The crowd was European, the music was Latin and there was enough space to dance to avoid overstimulation, whilst still being busy enough to create a good vibe. Atmosphere matters more when you can’t rely on alcohol to distance you from reality.
#2 – Be Decisive
That is, from the outset, make a conscious decision that you’re not drinking, and stick with it. Tell the people you’re going with as an insurance policy (although, if they’re drinking, the policy could be rendered void). If there’s room for ambiguity, there’s every chance you’ll succumb to temptation during the night.
Personal responsibility for my sobriety, amongst other things, is something I’m slowly building. I don’t rely on others to make my decisions for me anymore, nor do I succumb to peer pressure, which I see as an excuse for deflection of accountability. I made this decision, and its my choice to either stick or twist, on the strict understanding that I’m the one to pay the cost or reap the profits.
I opted for a Coca-Cola (full fat, always) for a little caffeine and sugar rush. I have tap danced around the various faux- alcoholic beer and wine offerings, but I find the beer too bloating and the wine tastes like cough syrup. I must admit, LOVE a good nojito though.
#3 – Be Aware You’ll Be Aware
This was something that caught me by surprise – the high- definition viewing experience of a sober night out, once the beer goggles are off. It’s difficult to explain but the moment just seems more real. I absorbed the room more; I was looking around and conscious of my surroundings like a meerkat- curious and alert.
This didn’t bother me because my sobriety has been a training ground for being comfortable in my own skin, as opposed to escaping discomfort. This said, I think if I would have jumped right in gone to a club in early sobriety, it could have been too much.
I looove to dance, and I think I danced the same as I would have done drunk (maybe slightly less dry humping my friends). I still giggled, sang, let go. I just had more agency over my actions.
The big payoff for this was the following morning when I woke up knowing exactly what I had done the night before, with no hanxiety or dread when checking my phone. I left the club at 03.30 – a pretty good shift – and my Sunday wasn’t spent with my head over the toilet or curled up in the foetal position.
